My Fragile Headspace

Persevering when the brain wants to bail.

The plan was to run seven miles.

As winter runs go, everything was working out in my favor. Over the past few days, I’d fueled well and slept well. The air was cold but clear, with gorgeous full sun on the trail. I was running a simple out-and-back, with plans to buy myself a big breakfast after.

Some runs, I can barely keep my feet under me. This day felt different. I could have run forever.

Then it happened. In mile five, my fitness tracker died.

My brain immediately wanted to bail.

Forget that this was an out-and-back and that I’d already turned around and started back to the car. That the tracker had already served its purpose.

The fact that the run was no longer being tracked changed nothing. Yet somehow, for my fragile headspace, this changed everything.

One glitch, and my brain wanted to bail.

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In running, your mental game will make or break you.

The same is true in writing.

So much of what feels like success or failure on any given day is really just in our heads.

One day, I’m riding the high of navigating a tricky plot point or nailing a delicious bit of dialogue. The next, I’m flailing my way through a rough draft and wondering if I even know any words.

Midway through long projects, when something inevitably goes wrong, it’s easy to ask why I bother.

And it doesn’t take much to get me there. The littlest things can throw me off. The writing equivalent of my fitness tracker dying. Whelp, my brain says. Looks like this project’s toast. You had a good run while it lasted, but it’s time to give up now.

The only way to defy my fragile headspace is just to keep showing up.