The Men on the Internet Have Something to Say

When the insults are unintentional compliments.

There’s a certain type of man we meet on the internet.

You know the type.

The one who always has something to say.

Exhibit A: Strangers Weigh In On Why I’m Still Single

In October of 2021, amidst ongoing pandemic supply chain shortages, I went viral online with this little number:

“From now on when people ask why I’m not married, I’ll just say it’s a supply chain issue.”

Going viral is such a strange experience.

Stranger still is going viral while mentioning being single, which opens the floodgates for the men on the internet who always have something to say—the type who will tell you why they think you’re still single based on a three-second glance at your headshot.

Perhaps surprisingly, responses to the original post on Twitter/X were fairly fun and light-hearted. It was once screenshots took a leap to Instagram, boosted by some truly huge accounts, that the weirdness really started.

For months after that, strangers were tagging me with commentary and flooding my direct messages with their thoughts and opinions on why I am still single.

By “strangers,” of course, I mean strange men.

If I had a different sort of personality, this might have bothered me more. As it was, I found many of the comments so off base that they were actually funny—and, more often than not, perversely complementary.

Here are a few of my favorites.

“If you’re insecure, just say that.”

If you’ve clearly never interacted with me, just say that.

“Unfortunately for her, she either doesn’t want to be married and has enough capital to sustain herself for the rest of her life, or the type of man she wants doesn’t want her.”

Okay, chief.

“What do you expect with that psycho leftist haircut?”

Here we have proof that a distinctive look can both attract and repel the right sorts of people.

Great news for anyone who would prefer not to attract men who sit around hate-commenting online.

“That’s what you get when you squander your 20s.”

Doesn’t he mean 20s and 30s…?

Because I was already solidly in my 40s at the time my headshot was taken.

So, the way I see it, this one actually works out as a compliment.

So What Can We Learn From All This?

If these sorts of comments have accomplished anything, it’s to have me reconsider the premise of my original post.

Perhaps, after all, the most pressing issue isn’t disruptions in the supply chain.

Perhaps it’s quality control.

And we have the men on the internet to thank for bringing this problem to our attention.

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