This is interesting, because I usually address my intimate associates with "Friend," because writing their name feels so formal. I save first names for the unknown. I also address them when jumping back into chats, but it's informal and nicknames. I don't like seeing "Hey girl." I usually start cringing because I assume it's unsolicited medical advice.(When I first saw this, I thought it was going to be about MLMs; I'm not important enough to have anything people need, other than money, that is.)
Our society of instant gratification and Social Media Influencers has conditioned us to assume that everyone wants to be asked, and aid us in our quests of recognition.
I applaud the setting of boundaries! I hope they are respected, but in the case that they - probably, unfortunately - aren't, I hope peace is still sustainable.
This definitely applies to MLM's! How many of us have gotten the "hey, girlie!" Messages that are really just people wanting us to buy something or attend a facebook party for their new product they are selling, etc etc
And there are for sure exceptions to the "hey friend" opening. I have a good friend who actually does this all the time, both in text and in person, so I messaged her ahead of time to let her know I wasn't thinking about her while writing it, because we are actually friends and she never asks anything of me!
It's the acquaintance to hey friend to immediate ask pipeline that's tedious and rings false.
Hey, I got one of these a couple weeks ago! Pretty sure I said "we're not really friends" aloud (to myself of course, because who better to talk to, right?) after I read the ask. Anymore, these things earn very large eye-rolls as well. And in this particular case, I said no. It's still rubbing me the wrong way to think about it.
I love this insight so much! Once, I was calming my baby in church nursery alongside another woman who was feeding hers, and who never spoke to me, never looked me, never acknowledged my presence at all. It was very uncomfortable. The following week, I received a message from her opening with “Hey friend!” She proceeded to try to recruit me for some women’s clothing business pyramid scheme. Which is to say, you nailed it in this post.
Yup. All of this.
Wish it weren't like this
This is interesting, because I usually address my intimate associates with "Friend," because writing their name feels so formal. I save first names for the unknown. I also address them when jumping back into chats, but it's informal and nicknames. I don't like seeing "Hey girl." I usually start cringing because I assume it's unsolicited medical advice.(When I first saw this, I thought it was going to be about MLMs; I'm not important enough to have anything people need, other than money, that is.)
Our society of instant gratification and Social Media Influencers has conditioned us to assume that everyone wants to be asked, and aid us in our quests of recognition.
I applaud the setting of boundaries! I hope they are respected, but in the case that they - probably, unfortunately - aren't, I hope peace is still sustainable.
This definitely applies to MLM's! How many of us have gotten the "hey, girlie!" Messages that are really just people wanting us to buy something or attend a facebook party for their new product they are selling, etc etc
And there are for sure exceptions to the "hey friend" opening. I have a good friend who actually does this all the time, both in text and in person, so I messaged her ahead of time to let her know I wasn't thinking about her while writing it, because we are actually friends and she never asks anything of me!
It's the acquaintance to hey friend to immediate ask pipeline that's tedious and rings false.
I have cousins who do this sort of thing, but it's more of a "Hey Cuz" instead of "Hey Friend".
😑😑😑😑😑
Hey, I got one of these a couple weeks ago! Pretty sure I said "we're not really friends" aloud (to myself of course, because who better to talk to, right?) after I read the ask. Anymore, these things earn very large eye-rolls as well. And in this particular case, I said no. It's still rubbing me the wrong way to think about it.
I totally understand why. It comes across as manipulative when you aren't really friends. Hate that for you.
It's annoying. It would have been so much better to say "Hey Malinda, I'm in a pinch..."
This is so true. Thanks for saying it.
I love this insight so much! Once, I was calming my baby in church nursery alongside another woman who was feeding hers, and who never spoke to me, never looked me, never acknowledged my presence at all. It was very uncomfortable. The following week, I received a message from her opening with “Hey friend!” She proceeded to try to recruit me for some women’s clothing business pyramid scheme. Which is to say, you nailed it in this post.
Ugh, yes. Exactly this. So awkward and cringe.